Reach Out, I'll Be There!

At the moment, I have no idea what week I'm in because I've missed a couple, but you all didn't miss too much.  The one major thing that I need to mention is that I am officially a Howard University Bison!  I enrolled in early April on the 8th after visiting the school and being surprisingly impressed.  Also, I have bought the prom tickets so BGF and I are going, no questions asked because that $120 is payed for!  Now with that, I hadn't seen BGF in about a month, and I had no idea where our friendship stood and what it was like in his eyes.  Shoot, I thought he had already demoted me from friend to neighbor.  So, I really wasn't excited about prom because all the other girls had pretty good contact with their dates, and I had only seen mine the day he gave me the permission slip to go to the prom.  I thought it wasn't fair that I wasn't able to have that kind of contact with my escort and I thought for sure that the next time we would see each other, it would be the day of the prom.
This whole spring break, I was depressed because I was still thinking about SG, and I decided that I was to implement a revenge plan.  See, when a crush backfires, I go through these stages:

• Sadness because we didn't work out
• Anger because he choose someone else over me
• Depression because we seemed so perfect, but it just didn't work out
• Contentment because I'm starting to get over him
• Revenge. I want to get revenge on him by showing him what he missed out on, which always works.  I do this by looking especially cute on a day when I know I'm going to see him
• Happiness because I got him back, and now I'm really going to move on

I didn't know how I was going to see SG, but I was planning on it.  Then as I thought the perfect moment would arrive, he was nowhere to be found.  By the end of the week, I began to feel pathetic because I'm so bored stuck in my house all day that I can do nothing except think about a boy that definitely wasn't thinking about me.  It just isn't fair that he gets to go out and have fun, while I'm stuck in my house all day every weekend because I have nowhere to go!  So when the weekend came, I think I was going insane.  I just sat in darkness all day on Saturday wishing that I was living back in the 50s and 60s.  Then that's when I heard these four handsome men sing to me,
"Now if you feel that you can't go on
Because all of your hope it gone
And your life is filled with much confusion
Until happiness is just an allusion
And your world around is crumbling down, darling
Reach out! (Come on girl, reach on out for me!)
Reach out! (Reach out for me!)
Ha!
I'll be there
With a love the will shelter you
I'll be there
To always see you through"
Watching The Four Tops dance and sing, I began to tear up because that song had come into my life just at the right moment.  I have been aware of that song for a few years now, but Lord knows that Blackness NEEDED that song!  I also began to cry because I know this may sound crazy, but I'm almost obsessed with wishing that I was living during the civil rights movement!  I write stories about it, I read books about it, I watch documentaries about it, I watch movies about it, and the most powerful, I listen to music from that period.  I have no idea why I'm so engrossed in this time period, but I really do like escaping the realities in my life for a moment to travel to another period in time.  This spring break, I needed it more than ever because I was letting this stupid boy get to me.  Then after praying, and letting all my frustrations out in my diary, something amazing happened!
All right, just so you know, I've been having these dreams about SG every night.  In these dreams, I'm longing for him so bad that I wake up angry and depressed!  In all of these dreams, he's flaunting some girl in front of me, and I just want to kill 'em, or he's there with me, but ignoring me.  Saturday night, I wanted to have a dream where I was in the 50s, but this dream wasn't bad either.  SG was having a party in his house, and I and my sister went over there.  I did want his attention at first, but I just said, "what the heck" and wandered into another room without even thinking about him.  That's when one of his friends, whom I think my mind made up, came over and started flirting with me!  So, in this dream, I didn't want SG, I wanted somebody else!  I woke up with a smile on my face!  I was so happy that I dropped the whole revenge plan, but I wore a nice shirt for Easter.  I had to go over BGFs house and I just picked out on the nearest pair of shoes I could find.  I went over and took his mother the lemon cake she ordered from Honey Baked Ham, and talked to her for a minute.  Then she told me that BGF would be happy to see me, which truly sent shockwaves through me.
I walked over to his room and knocked on the door, and he told me to come in.  He was lying on his bed watching TV and what do you know, he was happy to see me!  We talked for a long time, and it was pretty nice.  It made me feel more optimistic about going to prom with him, but I had to let him know that Blackness was bout to go Carlton [Banks] on 'em at prom.  So, I was in his room for about a half hour just talking and catching up, and it was great.  He was telling me that me coming to see him was like a dream, but I told him, "it would be dream if you texted me!" Hahahahahahahaha! Got 'em! I was proud of myself for real!  It felt great to say everything I wanted to say when I wanted to say it!  I loved it!  Then today is when I got my first call from him since December!  So you know I felt good!
School starts tomorrow, and I will have you filled in on everything else when the time comes.  I can't believe that I have less than a month to prom, and about that time till graduation!  Funny how time flies!
Now, I am going to share the wealth with you.  Here is the video that someone made for "Reach Out, I'll Be There" by The Four Tops!  Hope you will be inspired just as I was!

Prom and Leadership, Week 28!

This week has been great as well because now, I can go to someone and tell them where I'm going to school in the fall, but I haven't made a final decision yet.  You know, there is nothing better than the reaction I receive from people when I tell them that I am going to Howard University, and I am starting to feel that sense of pride that comes with going to college.  I also feel a lot better that I can write something down on the line for scholarships that asks me, where do I expect to enroll in the fall?  There is just this warm feeling and excitement on the faces of the people in the Black community when they hear that I got accepted into Howard because this is a very well respected Black community/university, and they have this rich history full of success, and I am grateful they feel that I can continue the tradition.  There is no more sadness toward the fact that I didn't get into Ohio State, and I feel very strongly that I was meant to go down this track all along like the song "Firework" by Katy Perry goes, "...maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so you can open up one that will lead you to the perfect road.."  So I will let you know when I am officially a Howard girl!
All this week, a lot of my classmates were very nervous about a Government test where we had to memorize all the presidents in order, and their years.  This was the first test that I worked hard to study for because last semester, I got As on all his tests, but One, and this semester, I have yet to get an A.  I studied real hard because he said that if we get a 90% in the class, we won't have to come to school on the day of prom to take the final.  So if I get As on these tests, then I will definitely be at home on the last day of high school getting ready to go to prom.
Also, last week in JROTC, I skipped out on wearing my uniform in fear that I would have to lead the platoon, and I told the teacher that my shirt had mildewed.  It's not like I lost points because I wore it that Thursday instead of Wednesday.  This week, I wore my uniform because last week, he didn't even ask for anyone to come  up to the front of the class, so I thought it might be safe to do so this week.  Then this boy, whom I will call QT, came around to check everyone out.  The reason why I like QT is, he's cute and all, but he's not really ignorant.  He's really nice, and I'm glad that he remembers my name, even though a lot of people do, but I hate it when the teacher says, "Blackness did this", and then I see the confusion on my classmate's faces as they say, "who is Blackness?"  When he came to my squad, he said that hello to my friend that was next to me, and I didn't think that he would say anything to me, and I was delighted to see that he indeed did.  "What's up Blackness?" He greeted.  I replied, and he checked out my uniform, and I was good, except for my socks, but good thing he didn't check that.  Well, anyways, he was the platoon leader and he had to pick someone to lead, and I don't know why, but I got this feeling that he was going to choose on me.  This sense of dread came over me as I saw his finger point to me, and heard my name slip from his lips.  So, I walked to the front of the class, saluted QT, and did an about face, or however you spell it.  I did it so well that the whole class clapped for me!  I was on this high, but still very nervous because for one of the few times in my life, I was the leader!  After a while, I got use to everything, and it was finally over.  I was proud of myself. . .Still am!  I think I was mostly proud because I had watched that documentary about the movement that went on at Howard University in the late 60s, early 70s, and I felt that it was about time that I stopped being afraid to be a leader.  Those students inspired me, and I know that I will continue that honorable legacy.
Another thing that I was thinking about this week was Prom.  Last Thursday, the same day I learned that I had gotten into Howard, I went prom dress shopping for the first time.  It was fun, and I found my favorite dress my first time, and my friend found hers as well.  So that was finished, I still didn't know what I wanted to do when it came to my date.  I texted BGF to tell him the good news about college, and he was so happy for me!  I felt happy texting him, until he didn't text me back as usual.  Everything was going fine until I asked, "where you at?"  Then all of a sudden, my phone no longer vibrated!  I was mad!  Then I also learned that he was staying over his grandmother's house now, and she lives about 30 minutes away.  I wouldn't of known that if I wouldn't of over heard him talking about it on his phone, and at that time I didn't believe he was for real.  He doesn't even text me, or call!  It is as if I am no longer important enough for a visit!  I mean, I know that I've done something like this to him to some extent, but I redeemed myself!  I've been texting him, and I went to his football games etc, and I'm just sick of him having my hanging by a string!  So, I made up my mind to take that other boy.  I don't know too much about him, but I know he plays football for one of the local catholic schools, and he's tall and cute.  Also, he's a senior just like me!  BGF is a junior.  Then I learned that his prom is the same day as mine, so I have to take BGF now.  In a way, I breathed a sigh of relief because I still was a bit dubious on my decision.  Still, I think I really want to get to know that other boy.  I will be real sawlty if he has a girlfriend because. . .I'm going to make some real bold moves soon.
I will keep you posted.

Love,
           Blackness PEAcE

Congratulations On Your Acceptance! Week 27!

The happiness I feel has almost never happened to me in my whole entire life!  I mean, I can truly tell you that I am happy beyond comprehension because finally I have an idea where I'm going to school!  So yeah, you guessed that both Miami University and Howard University got back to me, and I have made a decision to visit one of them because I want to really see what this school is about.
Anyway, early on in the week, I was really depressed because I really didn't know where I was going and I was jealous that my friend had an idea of where she was going.  Howard University hadn't updated my application status yet, well it said, "sent to committee for further consideration" and Miami University was going to make me sit and wait until March 15th at midnight.  Also, my Career and College Path Teacher gave us an essay to write about the Freedom Writers movie and it was suppose to be due on Friday, which was just overwhelming me.
Earlier in this week, I was also depressed because I felt that my mom was pressuring me to go to Bowling Green because at their school, I have till the end of the month to enroll and pick my choice of housing.  I pleaded to her that I wanted to wait a little while longer to hear from Howard University, and she got angry at me.  I mean, I know that she wants the best for  me, but the decision on where I'm going to college is going to be one of the biggest decisions of my life that I have to make on my own, and I just wouldn't feel right just settling for Bowling Green.  So I told her that I would wait for Howard and Bowling Green will definitely be a "plan B".  (Haha plan B, Bowling Green.)  So as I looked at my classmates, I felt a bit envious because some people are going to Alabama for college, even Georgia or Florida, and my mom wouldn't even let me go to Indiana!  So I would just go home and go to sleep hoping that in my dreams, I would forget all of my troubles.
March 14th was going by pretty fast, and I decided to stay up till midnight to see if I had gotten into Miami because I'd rather be let down before I go to sleep because it will give me a chance to get over it in my dreams.  So when that midnight hour finally came, I calmed myself, but to be honest, if I got in or not, I didn't think that I was going.  Then I logged into my account and read everything looking a bit confused because I didn't understand.  So, I read it from the top and I realized. . .drum roll please. . .
I was wait listed.  I couldn't believe that I had basically gotten into Miami University, but I was getting nervous because if Howard didn't accept me then my only choices would be Indiana State or Bowling Green.  Then, I told myself that Howard and Miami can't both reject me, and I'd been through enough rejection as it was!  So, I prayed as hard as I could that I wouldn't be put through anymore heart break after the Ohio State thing.
The day after I got this ruling, I remembered that there is an appeals process that I can go through, and for a second, I thought about appealing my decision for Ohio State because I knew that I would drop everything and go there.  So that day, I called O-State to see how I could go through the appeals process, and man do I regret that.  The lady, she wanted to tell me why I didn't get into their school to make sure that I didn't get the same decision twice, and from what she was telling me, I didn't have a chance in hell in getting into Ohio State from the first day that I put my application in the mail!  That's when I told myself that Ohio State and I weren't meant to be, and I made the decision that I will not even transfer there as I originally thought I would.  I was depressed, so I went to sleep.  All of a sudden, my grandmother was yelling for me to wake up because my mom was on the phone, and I wondered why.  My mom told me that I got a letter from Howard University, and I began to get scared.  Then I felt that it had to be something good because she wouldn't of woke me out my sleep otherwise.  So as she read the letter, I learned that Howard sent my application, including the crap load of things I sent them, to a committee representing my major, which is Journalism, for further consideration.  They said that most of these applicants get accepted, but the thing was, I probably wouldn't get a decision until the upcoming weeks, or late April!  I was praying that I would be accepted that I would be notified before the end of April!
From the sound of my mother on the phone, she seemed satisfied with the idea that I might get into Howard University, and I couldn't believe that I might of been able to say that "I got accepted to Howard University" or even better, "I'm going to Howard University!" So I was giddy the rest of the day!
The next day, it was great, signs that Spring was coming showed as we had about a 60 degree day, and I couldn't wait to tell my friends that I might of gotten into Howard!  Then my teacher made my load even lighter when she told the class that our Freedom Writers essay wasn't due till Monday!  You should of saw the relief on my face, it was almost like how you feel on a hot day after you jumped into the cool pool.  Then on a hunch, I decided to check my application status, as I have done everyday, to see if it might have changed in the slightest bit.  I had changed. . .another drum roll please. . .
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE, it read!  I was so excited that I yelled in the computer lab because I couldn't contain the joy within me!  I couldn't believe that I got accepted into Howard University!  Howard University! Howard University!
When I finally told my mom, she couldn't stop saying, "wow", and she went on calling as many people as she could to tell them that I had gotten accepted, and I didn't mind that!  The sun was out that day, it was warm, and it seemed that Morning Had Come!!! I had asked God and Martin [Luther King Jr] when Morning was coming and they told me that it was coming, but didn't tell me when.  I had faith that it was coming, and I didn't stop believing it for one second! Nope...I didn't.  So, I have a cousin-in-law that graduated from Howard and she was so excited to hear that I got accepted.  Since she and her husband stay right there in D.C. we are going to stay with them for one night so I can attend Accepted Student Day at Howard on April 8th.
Man, Blackness has been on a high ever since, and I can't help but to be happy because Howard has to be the best HBCU in the country!  And I got in!  Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Morning has come!
Love,
                Blackness PEace!

Black Iz Power: Fight The Power! Week 26!

This week seemed to be very short and frustrating because I know that I have a lot to do to catch up in my College Path class, and I'm tired of not taking the steps to catch up.  On the board in one of my classes, my teacher wrote that 42 of the seniors are failing one or more classes, and I thought I was one of them, but my teacher gave me an A.  Still, I worked hard this week, and I made sure that I got all my work out the way so I could have all the time in the world to type my book because I don't have that much time before I can get it done.  Also, I was working really hard on my scholarships.  I actually completed one of the essays in one day, and I feel so energized that I can do another one!  The most frustrating thing is that my mother doesn't believe that I am working hard to find scholarships, and I am!  I don't think that there isn't a scholarship that I haven't scene!  I've stayed up late looking through list after list after list of scholarships and it's hard, but I am making progress.  I have so many online accounts for scholarship finders till it's crazy!  So, that's that.
I am proud of the work ethic I put in this whole week, and I know that if I keep working this way, I will definitely have a 4.0 by the end of the year.  If I take this ethic to college, I will become something great someday.  My mom keeps getting on me about the habits that I will have to fix when I go to college, like taking care of myself, cleaning up my room, and procrastination.  I am a huge procrastinator and I will admit it.  My motto is, why do today what you can put off till tomorrow, and that's not good!  I have missed out on a lot of sleep with this bad habit, but sometimes, it seems as if I come up with my best work when I do things at the last minute, so sometimes I purposely wait.  I keep telling my mom that I will fix this by the time I get to college, but she always keeps getting on me about it right now!  You know, I don't understand mothers sometimes.  They tell you to say, "ok Mom, I'll do it" when you want to argue, but when you say, "okay, Mom, I'll do it", they say, "I know" in a sarcastic kind of way.  What do you want me to say?!
What made this week the best is that my cousin Mr. Revolution came back to see us!  He brought his little son too, and he is so cute!  I really don't like little kids, and they usually don't like me, but his son actually waved back at me when I said, "hi", when normally, little kids look at me like I'm crazy.  So I really like him because he's so sweet!  I love my cousin because he is the only person, besides my grandparents that I can talk to about this history stuff that will listen to me straight out, respond to me, debate with me, and also educate me in return.  Sometimes, I have these moments with my mom, but she kind of frustrates me.  I always am eager to tell them what I learned about in Black history, and when I tell her, she either talks over me, doesn't respond, or interrupts me in the middle of my sentence.  The one time that really hurt me is when I had just watched an Eyes On the Prize documentary, and I went into the kitchen to talk to her about it, and while I was talking she said, "hurry up and finish what you need to be doing so that I can get on the computer."  It seems as if she listens to Mr. Revolution talk about history more than she does to me.  What also makes me angry is that when I talk about the condition of Black people, she rolls her eyes or doesn't respond to me at all.  Then at the end of the day, she admires my intelligence, and she brags about it when we talk to different people that have never met me, and she's impressed by it as well, though I know she hears me, I would love a response.  Maybe a debate or  a head nod or something so that I can know that I am heard and that I have gotten through.
During Black History Month, in the shinning moment when I put down the notecard and explained to the class some of the horrible things that happened to Black people during the early 1900s, they were moved by my testimony, and I can't explain the satisfaction that ran through my veins at the time!  I knew that I had made it, and it took bravery to shoot knowledge into the heads of my classmates because that's not an easy task.  I was fulfilled, and I still get that feeling every time I think about it!  So, I know my calling.  I know that I have to teach my young brothas and sistahs, and that is what I was put on this earth to do.  I am the messenger for all those Black voices that fell silent due to racial violence, and to Black on Black crime!  So look out because I'm ready to FIGHT THE POWER!
Love,
             Blackness PeaCE

Spring Cleaning Week 25!

Spring is hastily approaching Cleveland, and I can't wait!  Every time I can smell spring coming, I can smell freedom, I can taste the warm summer heat that blows through, and I can already feel the rain.  Even though spring is such a happy time, the skies are so dark during that season because the rain is bringing new life into the world.  I do enjoy rain, but I enjoy sunshine a lot more because sunshine always seems to make the world happy, and I love being happy.  Still, there are some things that are heavily on my mind.   One of the things are, emotions, and the other most important thing is, where the heck am I going to school?!
I already explained that Miami and Howard hold my fate within their hands, and I really have no idea what I am going to do if I don't at least get into Howard University.  I mean, I know that I have Bowling Green as an option, but it isn't and never has been my top choice school, it has been a safety school, but I also have Indiana State, which I know is a really good school.  I have to wait until March 15th to hear from Miami University, and I have to wait around that time through early April for Howard University.  So, here I go.
Next, I am trying to clean up my negative emotions because things can get real dark in that mind of mine.  I am kind of depressed because I noticed that I am not working as hard as I was in the first semester, and I'm afraid that it might be senioritious.  I didn't know that it could be so contagious, but I think I might of caught it when I vowed that it would never happen to me.  So I have an F in one of my classes which has only brought my GPA down to a 3.33, but if I want to leave out with that final 4.0 that I can never seem to attain, I gotta push myself.  This year, I strongly believe that anything is possible because if I can get honor roll, anybody can do it!
The  next thing I need to get over is the fact that SG definitely is not a good candidate for prom, so instead, I am going to ask BGF.  You know, BGF has been acting very funny lately, and that has really hurt me.   He is not the only guy friend that I have had in my life, but he is probably the most special.  He doesn't know what he means to me, and I am pretty sure that I don't know what I mean to him, even though I might have my ideas.  This is one of the only friends that I can truly say that I love, and I love him deeply and I care for him deeply; he doesn't know how he affects me when we have an argument or something, or when we have a nice time, etc. etc. etc.  I just care about this one.   So, you can only imagine how hurt I am when I see how far apart we have drifted over the years, and he has his moments when he can get quite funny on you.  Besides that, he is great.
Then there is this other boy that my mother asked me about. I never met him before, but I know that he plays football for a local school just like BGF.  He is my mom's friend's nephew or something, and he said that he would be more than happy to take me to the prom if the BGF thing doesn't work out, which I think is so sweet.  I mean, I think that this is so nice that I really am taking this into consideration, and if things do work out between BGF and I, I will still call him to thank him, and I will be more brave/forward and ask him to hang out sometime during the summer because I know that he is graduating this year too.  BGF is graduating next year, but I have to admit that he is wise beyond his years.
With all this boy stuff, I can't help but to think about the fact that I still do not have a boyfriend, and haven't had one in about two years.  It's not as hard as it sounds because being single means that you can talk to any boy you want, and you don't have to worry about a boy being down your neck about the most trivial things.  After this whole thing with SG ended up with him having a girlfriend in the end, or a girl that he was interested in, I have been kind of crushed for the moment, but I'm not going to shut myself in a box over a boy that isn't even interested in me.  Still, I think it was for the best because after reading a book that involved a girl and a boy really liking each other, going on a date, having that magical kiss, and then ending up making out on his couch while his parents weren't home, I realized that SG and I could NEVER do that, not anytime soon anyway.  Even though this hot pursuit did not work out, I am very excited about the boy that will come and be the one, for the moment, that will make me happy, and make me feel as if I'm worth something.  I don't need to rush things now, but when the time comes, the time will come.
So, time for me to get cleaning now that I have everything out in the open!
Love,
                 Blackness PEAcE

Spring Fever Week 23!

This week, it wasn't as cold as it was in previous weeks, and that brought a lot of optimism into my life.  Even though on Monday, I spent it without a boyfriend, which is cool, but it was very boring that day.  Then on Thursday, it was almost 60 degrees!  I couldn't believe it!  Finally, I could smell the arrival of summer on the horizon and I couldn't wait to put away my linty pea coat, and trade it for my more form fitting lazer green hoodie.
Spring is almost here!  And the weather usually gets better in Cleveland around April and May, and I just can't wait till my graduation arrives so that I can get the heck out of this school, and the only way I will come back is if they want me to speak to those good for nothing kids because I will be some inspirational leader, whom will travel the country to speak to teens that live in inner cities.  Most importantly, this week, I finished my final college application and I also turned in my required materials for this final school.  So I now have to wait for Miami University and Howard University.  Miami will contact me on March 15th, and Howard, I don't know when.  So, my future is riding on these two schools.
With this, I've been keeping a close eye on Howard University, and I am fairly impressed with the school, and the mentality of the students there.  It seems like this is one of the only HBCUs that are doing great, but I still have to go to DC and see for myself.  So, we will see.  But what really gives Howard an edge is the fact that not only do they have a chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists, but they also do the alternative spring breaks in the locations that I feel I want to go to the most.  I feel that I have to "pilgrimage" to Chicago where Derrion Albert, and Blair Holt, among others were killed so that I can immerse myself in the community struggles, and so that I can see if there is anything I can do to help with the problems happening there.  I know that every school has their alternative spring breaks, but Howard hit the right nerve at the right time and that is why I might pick them over Miami University if the visit goes well.
Now what Miami really has in its favor is the location.  Oxford OH is only a little over 4 hours away from Cleveland, and DC is about 6 hours or more away.  Also, Miami is a really good school, but what kind is of making me ify is the fact that they do not have a NABJ, and I need to be involved in that organization because I have to do that program where they allow the students to do a type of internship so they can really get newsroom experience, and I HAVE to meet Roland Martin.  Roland has to be one of my favorite journalists, if not my favorite  You can catch his show Washington Watch on Sundays on TV One.  I also am a huge fan of Soledad O'brien, forgive me if I spelled her name wrong, if you haven't checked out any Black In America specials, then I will tell you that it is a must see for every American.  Also I like Don Lemon, and you can catch him on CNN Newsroom.  Lastly, I am a fan of Jeff Johnson and that guy is all over the place, proud to say that he's from Cleveland!
So I still have my goals set high for myself and no matter where I go to school, I know that I will be able to accomplish the goals that I have intended to get done before I die.  So, as I struggle through the many things that teens my age got through in terms of self esteem issues, I know that underneath all my pain is a strong young girl ready for the world, ready to bloom into a young woman who knows that nothing is impossible and every dream she has is attainable.
Love,
               Blackness PeAcE

Black IZ Power Part 3! Black History Month Week 21

If you didn't know already, February is Black History Month.  Why is Black History Month in the shortest month of the year?  Because this happened to be the birthday month for both Abraham Lincoln, the great slave emancipator, and Frederick Douglas, the Martin Luther King Jr of the 1800s.  This was the idea of the great Carter G Woodson, whom was the founder of the Association for the Study of African American Life and History, and in 1926 the first "Negro History Week" was observed.
Then in the 1970s, Black History Month was born and is still celebrated to this day in America and Canada.
I love Black History Month because it's one of the only times of the year when I get to write essays and share my knowledge with others that I normally don't talk to.  I don't talk to that many people at my school because Blackness is on a whole other level, one of which that they cannot touch, and I really do not feel that I have to talk to them.  Still, I feel that I owe it to my ancestors to put those differences aside to share my knowledge with people that would otherwise not know anything about it.  So I try my best to write and make little movies about these things so that I can make an impact on someone that I must of misjudged.
I also take a step over them and I try to demonstrate my pride in many other ways.  For instance, last year, the director of my school allowed me to wear a dashiki for Black history Month, and I wore it on Fridays because I only had about three of them.  Many people turned their heads, pointed fingers, laughed, and others took intrigue.  So I actually expected that kind of reaction because there are too many Black people ignorant to their history.  At first, I started to feel really bad about it, and I wasn't looking forward to school anymore, but I continued on, answered any questions, and answered ignorance with the strong pride that brewed within myself, something that I was proud and surprised by.
This year, we had a new director, and I was a bit doubtful about whether or not he was going to allow me to to wear it, and I was surprised when he said that I could.  This year, I have real Dashikis and I can't wait to wear them this Friday with my Afro and big earrings.  I missed this Friday due to a family tragedy, but you know that next week, I'm going to be on it!  So I can't wait to get that together.
Also, I have two movies that I will show my class this month; one is about the Black Panther Party of the 70s, and the other one is about how we have forgotten the struggle to the music of Heaven Help Us All.
So you know that I will be hard at work trying to inspire the hopeless, the clueless, and the ignorant.  Why do I do it?  I don't know.  Why did Martin Luther King try to compromise with racist white people?
See, no matter how many people tell you that it's dead, Black History Month still has its relevance because this is OUR history, no matter what color you are, if you are an American, this is your history.  We need to understand this history if we want to advance this country because we still are facing many of the same problems we have for hundreds of years with the issue of superiority.  In my opinion, no race is more superior than the other, and that's why you can never catch me saying that Black people are better than any other race.  Still, I have my pride, but there is a thick line between thinking that my race is better than another and loving my Black self.  It pains me that we don't celebrate our Black culture as we did way back when, and I know that I was put on this Earth to instill that self love, and awareness to the struggle so that I may uplift me people as the Great Ones before me did.  So, this is one of many of my Black History Month posts, so I hope to post more in the future so that I may uplift, whomever reads this.

Love,
             Blackness PEACE!