This whole spring break, I was depressed because I was still thinking about SG, and I decided that I was to implement a revenge plan. See, when a crush backfires, I go through these stages:
- Sadness because we didn't work out
- Anger because he choose someone else over me
- Depression because we seemed so perfect, but it just didn't work out
- Contentment because I'm starting to get over him
- Revenge. I want to get revenge on him by showing him what he missed out on, which always works. I do this by looking especially cute on a day when I know I'm going to see him
- Happiness because I got him back, and now I'm really going to move on
"Now if you feel that you can't go on
Because all of your hope it gone
And your life is filled with much confusion
Until happiness is just an allusion
And your world around is crumbling down, darling
Reach out! (Come on girl, reach on out for me!)
Reach out! (Reach out for me!)
I'll be there
With a love the will shelter you
I'll be there
To always see you through"
Watching The Four Tops dance and sing, I began to tear up because that song had come into my life just at the right moment. I have been aware of that song for a few years now, but Lord knows that Blackness NEEDED that song! I also began to cry because I know this may sound crazy, but I'm almost obsessed with wishing that I was living during the civil rights movement! I write stories about it, I read books about it, I watch documentaries about it, I watch movies about it, and the most powerful, I listen to music from that period. I have no idea why I'm so engrossed in this time period, but I really do like escaping the realities in my life for a moment to travel to another period in time. This spring break, I needed it more than ever because I was letting this stupid boy get to me. Then after praying, and letting all my frustrations out in my diary, something amazing happened!
All right, just so you know, I've been having these dreams about SG every night. In these dreams, I'm longing for him so bad that I wake up angry and depressed! In all of these dreams, he's flaunting some girl in front of me, and I just want to kill 'em, or he's there with me, but ignoring me. Saturday night, I wanted to have a dream where I was in the 50s, but this dream wasn't bad either. SG was having a party in his house, and I and my sister went over there. I did want his attention at first, but I just said, "what the heck" and wandered into another room without even thinking about him. That's when one of his friends, whom I think my mind made up, came over and started flirting with me! So, in this dream, I didn't want SG, I wanted somebody else! I woke up with a smile on my face! I was so happy that I dropped the whole revenge plan, but I wore a nice shirt for Easter. I had to go over BGFs house and I just picked out on the nearest pair of shoes I could find. I went over and took his mother the lemon cake she ordered from Honey Baked Ham, and talked to her for a minute. Then she told me that BGF would be happy to see me, which truly sent shockwaves through me.
I walked over to his room and knocked on the door, and he told me to come in. He was lying on his bed watching TV and what do you know, he was happy to see me! We talked for a long time, and it was pretty nice. It made me feel more optimistic about going to prom with him, but I had to let him know that Blackness was bout to go Carlton [Banks] on 'em at prom. So, I was in his room for about a half hour just talking and catching up, and it was great. He was telling me that me coming to see him was like a dream, but I told him, "it would be dream if you texted me!" Hahahahahahahaha! Got 'em! I was proud of myself for real! It felt great to say everything I wanted to say when I wanted to say it! I loved it! Then today is when I got my first call from him since December! So you know I felt good!
School starts tomorrow, and I will have you filled in on everything else when the time comes. I can't believe that I have less than a month to prom, and about that time till graduation! Funny how time flies!
Now, I am going to share the wealth with you. Here is the video that someone made for "Reach Out, I'll Be There" by The Four Tops! Hope you will be inspired just as I was!