This was the best weekend of the whole school year because I got to go to my BGF's (Best Guy Friend) first football game of the season, and that was exciting! I mean, I was planning to pay for the ticket at the place because I wasn't sure I was going, but my boy got me a ticket which I thought was so sweet. Before, I get into that, I want to talk about a brotha that I've been thinking about lately. I won't say his name, but I will call him SG(Scarlet and Gray, and why did I pick these colors? Just figure it out on your own, but by the time I ask him to prom, you will know just who I'm talking about.). I don't know why it is that I'm thinking about SG, but I think it's because of how I realized how much we love each other, and I mean that in a fun way, and I just had to wait to my last year to realize it. So ever since he helped me feel better about this recent guy situation, I've been having these weird dreams about us, and don't worry we're not doing anything, but we like each other in these dreams and there is no denying it. In real life, I was denying my feelings for him, and I was trying to get over him, but as the days grow and the more time we spend together, these feelings get deeper and deeper. I remember the last time I liked SG, it ended so tragically but we were young, and I didn't even want to be in the same room as him because he made me nervous, but now I have to see him more and more; I have to be around him more and more; I have to talk to him more and more because I like him. And I really look at the big picture, it's pretty obvious that he likes me too, just as much or more. Now, I'm not denying my feelings for him, but I want to get over him so bad!
Yesterday I decided to sit out on the porch so that I could have the quiet of the outdoors to give me the inspiration I needed to write a poem for my Grandfather's 80 birthday. It was working well, but I got sidetracked for a moment when I saw my BGF walk outside to chase his cousin around; his annoying cousin. Then before I knew it, she brought her fast self across the street.
"Hey, why didn't you talk to BGF?"
"I didn't hear him."
She smiled. "You didn't need to."
Um, if you don't know, this young sistah is 12.
Then I thought, damn, now he's probably mad at me because I didn't hear him, so I called him, but he didn't answer so that was the end of that. I just sat there and played "Crusin'" by Smokey Robinson because that song can calm me during any situation. And next thing I know, here comes my BGF walking across the street on his cellphone. I was thinking, "damn, he just got on his phone without even calling me back? All right, I got him." He just casually walked past me and went into the house. Then here came his cousin talking to me about boyfriends.
"Oh, your boyfriend is my cousin. Do you go with my cousin?"
I actually blushed, but told her "no."
"You like my cousin don't you?"
"Um, no I don't."
"Um-hum. I see how y'all be lookin' at each other. You over here standing in the door, and he's sitting in the car."
Um, let me remind you again that this young sistah is 12! 12!
So I just had to explain to her how I was running away from bees which is why she saw me looking out the door, and I do have a wood porch after all. And that my brothas and sistahs is the truth. Again she was pretending as if she knew that BGF liked me. But she thankfully went back across the street and my BGF came back outside asking me what I wanted when I called. I told him that I just wanted to know what he said, and he told me he didn't even say anything! (That little girl had me worried for nothing!) And she came back across the street and both of them began arguing, and she had finally said that "you're just showing off because you like Blackness!" (don't be alarmed, that's not my real name) And he said, "um sorry Blackness", but never finished, but I know what he meant. And their arguing was hilarious at first, but she became so annoying that I just took my stuff in the house and went upstairs into my room to make sure it was BGF proof, and finally they took their argument upstairs and I closed my door just in case his cousin was thinking about hiding in my room so that he wouldn't beat her up. But finally he locked her out the house and he went back across the street to get ready for his football game.
I had planned on wearing a plain top with a black blazer because that was my favorite item in my closet, but my mom said I was too overdressed for a football game. I mean, I celebrities wearing theirs just going on the town, even the mall, I'm actually going somewhere! When my friend came over, I asked for her opinion, but she didn't help at all, so I just threw it back on until my Mom told me once again that I was overdressed for a football game, and I changed into my 2pac shirt with some skinny jeans, and my gold Ecko high tops. And my fro made me look so Afrocentric! I was still angry that my Mom told me that wearing my Blazer was over dressed! UGH! When we actually got to the game, man there was a whole bunch of White folks, and not just any White folks, they were the upper-middle class kind who could actually afford to do shiznit like this every weekend. And there were so many people at Browns Stadium that you would of thought that the Browns were playing, and the reality that my boy was going to be playing in front of all these people was sinking in. Then there were the White girls that just had to wear their tight shorts, and a Black girl was there and her shorts were so short I probably saw her booty cheeks (as if I wanted to). I just shook my head and was glad that I didn't stoop myself to levels like that to get attention from guys.
When we finally sat down, it was just in time to see the guys run out of the tunnel! The Wildcats were all dressed in their uniforms, but I was looking for #16. And I saw him, it was so cool to see him in his football uniform! And the best part of a football uniform is the football pants!. . .tight football pants! :-) I mean, I know that he's my BGF, but I just had to take a peek at #16, and it was nice! LOL. Back to the subject, the whole atmosphere was fun, but he didn't get a chance to play. I was salty, racist school! His mom couldn't take that, so we just left close to the end and took my friend home, and we waited for him to get off the bus, needless to say, they lost. I was expecting him to be all mean, but he was cool. He was laughing and talking like he usually does, and he was actually being a lot nicer to me than usual so that was nice. And once we got home, I thanked them for having me and they thanked me for coming. So I walked in the house and slept good that night because me and BGF have come along way. Shoot, I've known him since he was in 3rd grade, and now we're both 16, I'm a senior in high school and he's a junior (yes, I'm suppose to be in the 11th grade), I still can't believe it. But that night, I couldn't help but to have SG on my mind till the very minute I fell asleep hoping that I would soon get a sign that he wants me just as much as I want him, I txtd him that night to convince myself that he still might like me, and I felt good about it, though I have soon been discouraged. :'( (sad face crying)
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