Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Continuing the Legacy- Part Two: On To The Next One!
Oh, and there is something magnificent that I want to share about SG! I know that I said that I would get over him months ago, but even after I did that formal goodbye, I was still liking him and he was still breaking my heart without even knowing it. So I would look for any reason I could to make me mad at him or find proof of something that would make me not want to like him. Then my feelings got worse and worse until after the prom, but just a few days ago, he just proved to me that he does not care about my feelings. Plus he has girls left and right, so I wouldn't of had a chance anyway. I just can't wait to get away from him so that I can start focusing on something real. But then again, I think that it's sad that I have to remind myself almost every hour of the day why I just can't like him, but things have gotten easier as the days have gone by.
On a more important note, I graduated last Thursday! It was the greatest day of my life, and it was surreal! I still can't believe that I graduated from the school that I had the misfortune to attend for seven years! I'd been there since sixth grade and all hell has broken loose while I was there, but now that I'm gone, I can finally put all of that mess behind me because college awaits! Now that I'm going to college, I have the ability to map out my dreams and complete them to my own disposal! Going to college, I finally have the tools that will help me become something bigger than myself; going to college I have my own responsibility to make sure that I stay on the right track and I have the responsibility to make sure that no opportunity is out of reach because of my lack of motivation! Most importantly, going to college, I have the task of finding myself, loving myself, and reforming the parts of myself that bothers me--things like my bashfulness, my timidness, the lack of confidence in my own decisions, and my fear of being a leader.
After prom, I had this confidence in me that I couldn't deny. Everywhere I went, I held my head up high and I projected my voice louder. At first I was afraid of having to be more outgoing in college, but now I see that it's not impossible! I am ready to prove those people wrong that don't think I can change, one of which is SG, but another of which is myself. I always am so hard on myself, which is in human nature, but there are some things that you as a person can help. I'm tired of being so self-conscience about myself that I don't want to go out and have fun! I want to have fun! I want to be fun! I people to want to be around me because I am fearless! I am a Howard University Bison! So that should already tell you what I am about! These past few days, I felt pathetic after what SG said to me, but I reminded myself why I was put on this Earth, and I have found myself having to do that every time the light gets dimmer. I watched documentaries about my ancestors, and I realized for the millionth time that they have sacrificed for me, and I want to continue their legacy and bring awareness to their trials. I am ready to learn just like these students pictured above, and I want to make them proud by being the Black scholar I know and they know I CAN BE! Wow, I am ready to learn and I have no excuse for not working to my fullest potential! So, goodbye teenage Blackness and hello grown Blackness! So on to the next!-*-*-*-*-*-*->