Love and Driver's Ed! Week 4!

On Tuesday, my Mom had me drive around the block, and I thought I was ready, but of course I wasn't.  It was at night too, so I was extra scared, but I was delighted to see that BGF was outside, coming from who knows where, to see me drive.  Then he had asked to come with us to watch me so that he could feel like a part of the family, and I told him that he could come as long as he would just shut up.  See, I love BGF in every way and I wouldn't change him at all because though he may seem so distant from me at times, he actually really cares about me and I feel the same for him.  The one thing that I think is so funny about him is that he loves to be competitive, and when he wins he rubs it in your face until you never forget it, and I can still remember the day when I got the phone call from him about him getting his driver's license.  I was sitting in the parking lot of my school waiting for the seniors to come to their prom line-up when my phone rang.  I was surprised to see that it was him, and he just couldn't wait to tell me that he got his license before mine!  And there are a lot of other things that he thinks I don't remember about him, but I definitely do.  Sad thing is though, he remembers a lot of things about me that I didn't even think were important.  So I am definitely lucky to have him--No lie!
Anyhow, he was happy to hop into the back seat of the car.  I did really good speed wise and I could drive really good going straight down the street, and since there is not that much traffic that goes through my street, I get to do a lot more at home than most other teens.  The problem that I had was the right turns, and I think that with some more practice, I will be able to get it down.  Then the embarrassment occurred when I almost crashed into the fence when I was backing into the driveway.
"Hit the brake! Hit the brake!" Mom yelled.
Then we all began to laugh because I even had to admit that stuff was funny.  Then later on I showed him my JROTC uniform that I was so proud to wear this week!  I was looking so cool in that uniform!  With my Afro, I was a Black Militant!  You know like "say it loud! I'm BLACK and I'm PROUD!"  I had worn it the whole day, and this woman in my college class at Tri-C was so proud to see me in it, and that made me proud to see me in it!
But, I think that the one thing that made my week was the "Back-to-School" speech by Barack Obama.  He was so serious about how we should put 100% of ourselves in everything we do, and this gave me hope that I can get straight A's  this year, which would be a first for me and I still hold out hope that I will get into Ohio State, Georgia State, Penn State, and Howard. . .maybe even Spelman.  Our college path teacher  wants us to write a paper on it, and some of the idiots in my class gave me a headache because they were asking the dumbest questions over and over again.  Plus she was arguing back with the students that were getting an attitude with her!  Ugh!  It had gotten so bad to the point where I wanted to pull her aside and tell her how to teach, even though I probably wouldn't be good at it myself.  But they remind me of my driver's ed class; there are only 5 people in my class, but the teacher Mr. G is very out there and isn't afraid to put you on the spot, but he's really cool.  I really don't have a problem with any of the people there, but I do have a problem with the one boy there.  I will call him Captain Donkey when I really mean the other meaning for Donkey if you know what I mean.  He doesn't try to "cut a sistah down" in an obvious way, he tries to do it on the sly and that still is unacceptable, but there are so many things that I can say about him like how he really can't read like a normal 16 year old should, and he is dumb as a doorknob if you ask me, but I won't say any of those things. (Oh, I'm not insulting anyone who can't read that good.  I'm just insulting him because he tried to play me like I was an idiot!)  I really don't need to start nothing with him because I only got to see him for one more weekend and I will not see his Donkey face again!  And only one more weekend of Driver's ed and I don't have to ever wake myself up on the weekends!

Now let's get to the love part!  SG, to me, is really starting to show that he might have some feelings for me, but there is this other part of me that's not sure.  Like the other day when he came to see me when I was over my grandma's house, well I hope he was coming to see me.  This was the first time that he had done that in maybe a year or two, and that showed me that he might have me on his mind.  Then I look around school and see all those other girls that wear tight clothes and do their hair every five seconds, and I wonder if that is what he wants.  I mean, he has a had a girlfriend before, I don't know how many, but he's had one before and I can't play her because she seemed really nice, but I can't help but to ask myself, what does he see in here that he didn't see in me that one time?  I guess she might be fun to hang out with, and not as shy as I am, and that's the thing that really holds me back from meeting new people period!  I like to keep to myself because I hate attention, but I only like it if it's for a political reason, but I really seem to be so serious when I'm around him and other people, but I do loosen up to people after a while.  I think about what prom night is going to be like with SG, and what his reaction is going to be when I ask him to go with me, but I know that no matter what, it's going to be the right choice because I can't see me going with anyone else!  Talking to BGF or BFF is out of the question because I don't know how this is going to end.  I just hope it's a happy one. . .you know, one last happy ending before I go off to college.

                   Love,
                                Blackness