Love and Blues. Week 10!

Wow.  This week really was a trip, but I know that I am doing the best I can to maintain a good attitude despite what I am going through.  I mean, I'm not going through the worst adversity, but with the power of my ancestors, and knowing that they have my back no matter what, I am getting through it.  I really am.  Well, school is going a little bit better, but there is a paper that I keep putting off because I'm just lazy.  I will admit that!  I'm lazy and probably one of the most laziest people that I know, but when it comes to fulfilling my destiny and all of that, I get right on it because I know that my ancestors would appreciate it.  Weird thing though, I cried on Friday.  Yes, I cried.  Not because I couldn't go to the mall or because I caught some boy that I like with another girl.  I cried because the American Experience is putting on a Freedom Ride next year to commemorate the 50th anniversary, and some of the original freedom riders will be there!  I really wanted to go, but they are only taking college students, and I felt that wasn't fair! Still do, but I later realized that there will be something better planned for me in the future, I just have to be patient.
Patience- that's a good word to use, and a good quality to have in life because if you don't have patience, you will never ever be able to get through every day.  I don't know how I attained this quality, but I think that my support for nonviolence is what helped me.  I mean, you really have to have patience to be nonviolent, and that's why Martin Luther King didn't beat no Bull Connor tail!  This is how I don't beat up my sister when she REALLY gets on my nerves.  Anyhow, when you are going through tough circumstances, knowing that one day it will get better makes each day easier because you are one day closer to morning.  This is where SG comes in.
I know that many of you are tired of hearing about SG, but I promise that I won't mention him anymore until I reveal to you who he is, and if something MAJOR happens.  Well, this week, I feel that I got conformation that he doesn't feel the same way I do, and even though I could be wrong, that thought is very liberating.  I was tired of just wondering and observing just to see if he liked me back, and now that I feel that he doesn't, I'ma be okay!  It hurt a little bit because I wasted a couple months of emotions on him, but I guess we just aren't meant to be together now, or if ever.  It was hard to come to terms with it a little bit, but I have patience.  I know that one day I will find somebody that is right for me and will treat me right, some one that is worth my emotions because I'm tired of wasting them on boys that don't give a damn!  In the distant future, I know that I will be in college and there will be so many boys to choose from, and I will find somebody even though I may have to wait a little while.
In another way, it hurts because he is just so closed, so hard to figure out that it's crazy.  I just don't think that a relationship with him will work because he never will communicate his feelings just like BGF.  So, I have other men that really love me, one man in particular that tops the rest: my Papa.  Love you!


Love,
             Blackness   -  PEACE